How to Be Grateful in Hard Times: Part III
Welcome to Reality: Shifting into Gratitude Is Work
Welcome to the finale, my friend, of How to Be Grateful in Hard Times. We’re at the end, so if you haven’t already, I suggest you go and start at the very beginning so you don’t miss anything or start looking around wondering what the heck I’m talking about. You can find Part I of this series here.
To focus, let’s recap on our founding scripture for this three part series:
16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.
17 For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.
Matthew 13:16-17 KJV
In Part I, we broke down why gratitude matters, especially to Yahweh. In Part II, we exposed that if you ignore murmuring spirits operating in your life, satan is illegally getting one over on you, and his end goal is to use this spirit to ultimately kill you. Now in Part III, we’re gonna discuss how to shift out of that debilitating mindset and sustain the deliverance that comes from Yah when we are healed and set free. To do this, I’m gonna share a little bit of my testimony.
If you’re ready, my friend, let’s begin.
Learning to Accept the Reality of Your Situation is The Next Step
Many times, Yahuah will allow you to continue to choose sickness until you are so sick you cry out. This was my problem in life when, to avoid homelessness after moving out of a compromised living situation, I walked 14 miles a day for a month to and from work. My best friend at the time (who we’ll call Tara) had gotten into a fight with our roommates, who just so happened to own the house we were in. Taking her side, as we’d moved out of state to make this living situation work, I chose to be loyal to my bestie so she wasn’t stranded alone… even though the reality of the situation was, Tara had been dead wrong.
So until my housing was stable again, I was blindly following my idol at the time (we were tragically co-dependent), and during those long walks, God began to reveal to me Tara’s true nature. The nature I’d continuously made excuses for out of “love.”
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Romans 1:28-32 KJV
Before I was willing to work on myself, the LORD had to remove Tara. Facts. She was a leech, a parasite, complained about everything constantly, and to be honest? She was a chronic indulger in many of the things listed as the fruit of a reprobate mind! But I was consumed with our friendship, as toxic as it was, due to my low self-esteem at the time. Once out of the way, and in a more stable situation back in our home state, I grieved the loss of our friendship deeply. But it was for the best to cut the root of a heavy tumor out of my life.
ACKNOWLEDGING RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS HELPS YOU TO KNOW HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
To sustain my separation from Tara, one of the things that Yahuah liked to remind me of is where my friendship with her always led me. Moving out of state? Her idea. I’d already moved into a house with her in-state at one point and… well… lemme tell you: it’d been an absolute disaster. About a month after moving into a 3 bedroom house with her and another roommate, they’d both lost their jobs and the rent had come down to just me. It was crazy, but I’d refused to accept the harsh reality of what being her friend had meant at the time, only to willfully walk into a similar situation with her again out of state.
In other instances, when I missed her, He’d remind me of how she was constantly negative, and how (for some absurd reason) I’d been duped into thinking it was my job to always brighten up her day. At this stage of my life, bestie, I’d honestly thought that being a doormat was laying down my life for my friends. I thought giving to others even when I was on empty (and nobody was pouring back into me) was Christlike. Why? I mean it’s simple: I wasn’t reading my bible like I should have been and like the way I do now. She was full of the fruit of Romans 1:28-32, but instead of standing on Ephesians 5:11 KJV (BECAUSE I DIDN’T KNOW IT BECAUSE I WASN’T READING MY BIBLEEEEEE), I thought it was my job as a professing Christian to save her.
It was a pathetic place to be. I was foolish, naive, easily manipulated, and thought that was normal and okay. The truth was I was lukewarm as all get out: professing to be a Christian and desiring to know God on a deeper level, even though I didn’t seek Him with all my heart. So even after I’d had time to heal from our abusive friendship, my heart still hurt for her when word got back to me (through a mutual friend) that she’d finally hit rock bottom. I had sense enough to keep my distance, but it was still heart wrenching to hear of how she’d fallen flat on her face. I’d worshipped her, and had failed to set healthy boundaries in our friendship. I followed her more than I followed the wisdom of the Most High. And if this is you, and this sounds familiar in any way, believe me, my friend: you still have time to repent, ask Him for forgiveness, and get out of your wicked situation.
When Yahuah begins removing tares from the soil of your heart, it’s painful. It might even be just as painful as the hurt and pain you’re running from dealing with. So the best way to make sure the enemy doesn’t replant any more of these tares is to recognize bad seeds for what they are. Accept the reality of your situations, your friendships, and your mindset. Just do it. You can’t be blind to the types of people you are allowing to take up room in your life, not when the Word explicitly tells you that you will know them by their fruit.
By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
Matthew 7:16 NIV
Tara never liked it when I shined around her if she wasn’t getting attention too. Red. Flag. People who will continue to murmur and complain to you or blame you for trying to make them look bad when they’re not the center of attention? Run. Run as fast as you can. You’ll get sick when you let someone suck all of the air out of the room and then condemn you for needing to breathe. Facts, bestie. Big facts. Murmuring spirits are on a mission to kill you, and understanding the assignment of this enemy is another way to be uncompromising about setting strict boundaries that will keep it out of your life.
TO SUSTAIN DELIVERANCE FROM A MURMURING SPIRIT IS TO ASK YAHWEH TO POINT YOU TOWARDS THE PLANK IN YOUR OWN EYE
There will be times where you may want to dwell on what others are doing or have done to you. It can hurt, that’s why. When you’re in a battle with the enemy, he’ll usually try to trigger you 99.999999% of the time into being offended in some way, or to murmur and complain about your situation. Hands down, almost every single time.
But that’s not what Yahusha directs us to do in verses 16-17 of our founding text. Exercising gratitude that we don’t have to wander blind, deaf, and dumb is the pivotal step in these situations. We have access to the answer for anything we may endure in this life in the Bible. Period. So once we assess our environment and our relationships, it’s time to look inward and hit the root.
In my case, I had abandonment issues due an absent father who was in and out of my life whenever it was convenient for him. He preferred to live the single bachelor life (when he wasn’t married to my various step-mothers) and only seemed to take an interest in me when his wives wanted to build a relationship with me. It wasn’t until, however, I was raped and spoke up, only for the perpetrator to continue to live in my home, that sixteen-year old me met Tara. Another girl with very similar daddy issues, we became fast friends.
The rejection that had settled within me was what attracted the murmuring spirit into my life. Me. Rejection was the root, the murmuring spirit I attracted in many of my friendships (she wasn’t the only negative Nancy I had around) was an offshoot of this root. It would be years later that I would finally allow Yah to operate on my heart completely, as I was terrified of God rejecting me when the important men in my life had done this to me already. And when I did finally let Him in, this murmuring spirit would no longer be found in my social circles. It was wonderful, it was a breath of fresh air. It was freedom.
But I had to take that step, not Him. Yahuah was waiting on me. I had to submit myself to what Yah revealed was the issue and no longer avoid the process required by Him to heal completely.
WHO WOULD I BE IF I DIDN’T CARRY THIS BURDEN ANYMORE?
Letting go of the fear of changing the narrative of your life will cut a murmuring spirit’s head off. I carried the shame of rape and the rejection from men who continued to care less in my life for years. Decades. So just like we discussed in Part II of this series, when I asked the Most High what the root of my problem was, was ready to repent for the idolatry in my life (worshipping friendships), and turn from my wicked ways (separate myself from every idol in my life), it was time to let it all go. But I’mma be real: I was terrified of no longer holding it in because… well? How would it affect them if I tried to speak up again?
I’d told my mother the day after the rape. I’d financially supported my father in a situation even when in a time I was facing homelessness (like I mentioned at the beginning of this post), I knew I could not live with him. How could I, as God took me through the process of healing from former traumas, be called to share this? Me, the doormat? The one desperate for love in previous situations? The Elohim wanted me not only to isolate myself and heal, but then speak up and share my testimony of this process once I was set free. Start a blog? Whaaaaat? That could be accessed by people from around the world?? What if my family found out that I wasn’t in a rebellious stage in my teenage years, but I’d left home because I didn’t want to live near an abusive man anymore? What about his reputation in our family? Would they believe me if they ever saw this, or would I just be told he didn’t do it again?
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NIV
Being set free instead of settling for coping mechanisms or medicating the symptoms of damage or disease is bravery. We’re called to live boldly for Yahusha, and healing, sometimes, with God as your physician is a bold thing. Accepting the reality of our calling as Believers to live boldly for Yahusha is necessary, not only to please the Most High, but to receive the abundant life He died so that we would have access to Him and His wonderful compassion and love.
In Review
We went through a lot in these few posts, didn’t we? It’s my prayer they help you fully trust in God and be grateful for your many blessings in Yahusha HaMashiach when going through hard times.
I figured, for you note takers like me, I’d give you another quick recap, so here’s the essence of these posts:
Gratitude matters because it disables the enemy from operating a murmuring spirit in your life. When operating out of a grateful heart, you’re more equipped to acknowledge your blessings and carry your cross. (i.e. be a healthy, productive member of the Body of Yahusha)
If you ignore signs that a murmuring spirit is operating in your life, not only can you be led down a self-destructive path, but this spirit may be the symptom of a deeper problem that you can’t see on the surface. Or, better yet, that you’re avoiding. So by entertaining this spirit, you’re putting your overall health at risk: your spiritual, financial, and even physical health, if you let it get this far.
The best way to shift into a grateful heart posture is to take inventory of what you’ve been allowing in your environment before moving on to what you’ve been allowing to settle in your own heart. What do you need to let go of? What can you set in place (whether a routine or new healthy habit) to ensure that once you let go of what God reveals to you must go, it stays gone? How is your quiet time with Yahusha? How much attention have you been giving to the Word of the Most High? Self assessment is key to thanking Yah for your blessings and maintaining a healthy relationship with Him at the center of your everything.
IT’S TIME TO LIVE IN THE FULLNESS OF THE ABUNDANT LIFE YAH DESIRES FOR YOU
Thank you for spending this time with me, bestie. I know that when you’re going through something painful or a really difficult time, it can be hard to see anything to be grateful for. But we are called into a beautiful kingdom where the Most High really wants to nurture and nourish us, as long as we trust He is who He says He is and that He came so that we may have eternal life. I pray that this has been edifying and encouraging to you. And that you really flourish in this season He’s taking you into in the coming months.
Much love.
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Hey, I’m Chase! I’m so excited you’re here, because diving deeper in the Word of Yah is right where you belong!
